An Open Letter To You Stupid Punk Rock Kids

NOTE: This was originally published by me on May 8, 2007 for randomn3ss.com

All I want to do is go to ONE “punk rock” concert without having to deal with all you stupid posers! In the 80’s, it was “glue heads” and kids in the U.S. wearing Union Jack and screaming about “anarchy in the U.K.” Nowadays, it’s lame chains, horrible dye jobs, and one of 3 or 4 skate company t-shirts.

Do yourself a favor, turn off your Blink-182, Green Day, and Good Charlotte for a few minutes and find a copy of the first Clash album, or maybe The Stooges, Fun House record. Now THAT’S punk! (for extra credit, check out The Ruts’, The Crack and the Bad Brains’ Black Dots)

Today’s “punk rock” is simply a watered down version of what the music was meant to be. You little bastards show up in droves just so you can say you were at the show; as if your attendance alone makes you “real.”

“Punk” is a way of life, not a fashion style. It is a state of mind, not some list of things to be checked off or bought to show your level of legitimacy.

So please, stay home with mommy and daddy, watch your bullshit TV, show off to your friends by getting some lame piercing…just don’t come to punk shows!

So, here’s a few helpful tips to find out if your favorite “punk band” are posers, or if you are:

-If your favorite “punk band” has EVER been on TRL, they’re posers.
-If your favorite “punk band” has even been called “emo,” not only are they posers, but they completely suck.
-If you don’t own at least 1 Ramones, Clash, Stooges, Fugazi/Minor Threat, Misfits, Black Flag, Velvet Underground album, you’re a poser.
-If you think the Sex Pistols are the epitome of “punk,” you’re a poser.

-If anyone has ever commented that your jeans are too tight, you're a poser (and a tool).

-If you can fit into your girlfriends' jeans, you're a poser.  

-If you go to “punk” shows and don’t get in the pit (and are under the age of 35), you’re a poser.


Yes, I listen to jazz, to “jam bands,” to classical, yeah, I’m pushing 30, but I’ll still drop your ass in the pit!