I Get Good Advice From The Advertising World

*insert excuse for taking a month to write a new blog here*

Good, now that we’ve got that out of the way, onto the current thoughts from my overly active brain. No, nothing political here…in fact, in many ways, this blog will be FAR more mellow than what you’ve come to expect…we’ll give it a shot and see what happens…

With all apologies to my friends in the advertising world, sometimes I am completely baffled by how companies choose to market themselves.

I will not be talking about characters of old (like when The Flintstones sold cigarettes), nor will I be using examples that have been beaten to death (Joe the Camel). I will ignore that silly teddy bear who always ends up in the laundry basket, and I will DEFINITELY avoid The Noid!

Wiping The Slate Clean

First and foremost, toilet paper (or tissue if you’re one of them fancy folks) companies…

Seriously, whose idea was it to use a few grizzly bears or a small dog to better sell such a product?

I mean, are we supposed to know that a grizzly’s backside (not a grizzly backside) is equally, if not more, sensitive than that of a human and therefore, their product is superior? Are they trying to imply that if it is good enough to keep the bear from becoming irate, so will it with your average human? Furthermore, do bears have their own Genreal Stores where they buy the TP? Or are we to assume that when bears are not stealing pic-ah-nic baskets, they are raiding the Rangers Station for “necessities.”

Oh, and for the record, I’ve spent lots of time in the woods…and I’ve YET to see a roll of TP conveniently hung on a low branch! LIES I TELL YOU…LIES!!!

Now, the dog…the cute, cuddly dog. This one just leaves me scratching my head (the dog, not the product). A small, fluffy dog is supposed to assure us that their product has been engineered to withstand your most difficult times. In an effort to get this point across, they have a small dog playing with the roll. Seriously, I have nothing more to say on this…I just don’t get it.

OK, we’ll move on…I think I’ve made my point.

Food For Thought

Let me be known that I believe that McDonald’s is one of the greatest evils that this planet faces (except for sausage McMuffin’s with egg and cheese…because those are SOOO tasty!). I have no problem with the red-haired freak of nature that is most commonly associated with Mickey-D’s. But, they have two “side characters” that leave me wondering…

The Hamburglar
Yeah, he is pretty cool looking…and perhaps in another life he was a ninja or something because he is quite crafty with his evil plots to steal hamburgers. But, what sort of a message are they sending? Are they implying that their burgers are SO good that people even want to steal them? Are they trying to convey that it is alright to take their food without paying? Really McDonalds…think about the kids!

Grimace
I really hate to slam this character. After all, he is shaped like an upside-down ice cream cone and he’s purple. Also, he can’t talk and waddles like a drunk penguin. But really, “Grimace” was the best name they could come up with? Granted, it is QUITE appropriate, as that is one usually does when ingesting/digesting the “food” from McDonalds. Which genius of an ad exec came up with this name and character and managed to KEEP their job? The thought makes me want to…errrrr….grimace!

Hopping Mad

This will be one sentence that will cover the final two characters….

If a non-baby rabbit drinks milk, it will die.



When it comes down to it, I would LOVE to be in the meetings when they say, “Yeah…that cute baby…that’s what we’ll use to sell our new line of waffle irons!” Or, “WOW! That strange looking pink creature with yellow spots and a yellow nose is the PERFECT mascot for our baseball team!”

Perhaps these companies are SO smart that I am just too dumb to grasp their AMAZING advertising stra-tee-ger-ies…

Is it so wrong to have a milkman be the mascot for a dairy company? I mean, that only leaves the question of where he goes when the lights go out…

“Oh, really?” News Article Of The Week:

“Spending a lot of time watching TV, playing video games and surfing the Web makes children more prone to a range of health problems including obesity and smoking, U.S. researchers said on Tuesday.”

Taken from: http://www.reuters.com/article/marketsNews/idUSN0149493520081202